Common Courtesy
Yesterday was a hectic day. School gets out at 3:05; Senior Tea started at 4:00. That gave us just under an hour to get ready or whatever. This works better in theory than practice.
My Mom and grandmas arrived just in time to harass me -- "we need to leave now or we'll be late!". We got there on time and jumped in line for refreshments. I noticed that the other girls were dressed up; I wasn't. I didn't think it was that big of a deal until one of the teachers cornered me as I left. "So nice to see you all dressed up," she glared as her fingers dug into my shoulder. I wasn't sure how to react; I am the oldest in my family and therefore unaware of the etiquette of these sort of things. Yes, the name "Senior Tea" indicated a certain level of stuffiness, but when you live in my area the usual idea of "dressing up" is jeans without holes and an un-stained shirt. Thus, I felt I was suitably dressed. Also, most of the boys were wearing the same clothes they had worn to school. I didn't see what the big deal was.
I pushed the whole incident to the back of my mind, figuring that I had better things to worry about than one person's disapproval. Besides, how proper is a tea that serves Kool-Aid?! Anyways, like I said, I had other things to focus on (I had locked my keys in Dad's new -- running-- car) so I didn't think about it.
A couple of hours later I had to attend my siblings' Spring Concert. I was totally unexcited about it; I was tired and wanted to go to bed. Instead, I was stuck watching a bunch of terrified little kids try to remember the words to their songs, some of which I had to sing when I was in kindergarten! One of my good friends was sitting by me and, yes, we were chatting a bit. He just broke up with his girlfriend, so we were discussing that and how unenthusiastic my sisters looked as they sang. We weren't being disruptive or obnoxious; we didn't even talk much during the performances. Trust me, there was plenty of time for good conversation during the transitions from one group to the next.
Apparently, however, watching kids file on and off the stage is a vitally important part of the concert. One teacher in particular (not the one from Senior Tea), was irate. She rushed over to "shush" us, then returned to her conversation with another teacher. I was annoyed but again figured I'd let it go. It wasn't a big deal; no one was hurt.
I drove home and went to bed. When I woke up this morning, I was dead tired. I drug myself out of bed and threw on some clothes. My mind finally started working on the way to school. I was jamming out to a mix CD I made forever ago (one of the rare CDs I still listen to) and in a great mood. . . until I stepped inside the door. From halfway down the hall, I heard the self-appointed "concert monitor" lecturing an unseen person about how rude my friend and I were. Now, this teacher is not known for her subtlety or understanding. She recommended that any high school kids caught talking during a concert "should be kicked out". Oh no! Does that mean I can't take a day off from college to watch the concert next year?! Darn! I'm so disappointed. . . or something.
My partner in crime confessed that he had been lectured about our "misconduct" by the kids' music teacher, herself. We ruined "her" concert. Now, last I checked this was the kids' concert, not the teacher's. When we put on a play, our Theatre teacher never refers to it as "my" play; it's always "your" play. That's the way it should be. Yes, she organized everything (and, to be fair, she did a good job), but the kids were the ones who performed. Did she think our lack of attention was a personal attack? Pretty sure we would have chatted regardless of who was putting on the concert or how wonderful it was. And as for personal attacks, both of these women had better keep a distance. There is no law about verbally crushing teachers.
Besides, who is being the rude one in this case? Yes, I should have dressed up for Senior Tea and no, I should not have been talking during the concert; I know that. But aren't the "adults" in this situation being a little petty? If they have a problem, why not take it up with me? Okay, I would probably lose it now because they've already complained to everyone else. But if they had only calmly and politely taken me (and my friend) aside and kindly requested we be quiet (or dress up in the future), there wouldn't be a problem today. Instead, I am left feeling like a naughty 2-year-old who isn't even worth talking to. Where is the incentive to behave?
I have a theory that the only thing more rude than being rude is pointing out someone else's faults. If either of these ladies had behaved in a matter I felt inappropriate, I would not have made a big deal of it. What ever happened to common courtesy? Maybe I should treat them the way they treat me. Apparently, that's how they like to deal with people.
My Mom and grandmas arrived just in time to harass me -- "we need to leave now or we'll be late!". We got there on time and jumped in line for refreshments. I noticed that the other girls were dressed up; I wasn't. I didn't think it was that big of a deal until one of the teachers cornered me as I left. "So nice to see you all dressed up," she glared as her fingers dug into my shoulder. I wasn't sure how to react; I am the oldest in my family and therefore unaware of the etiquette of these sort of things. Yes, the name "Senior Tea" indicated a certain level of stuffiness, but when you live in my area the usual idea of "dressing up" is jeans without holes and an un-stained shirt. Thus, I felt I was suitably dressed. Also, most of the boys were wearing the same clothes they had worn to school. I didn't see what the big deal was.
I pushed the whole incident to the back of my mind, figuring that I had better things to worry about than one person's disapproval. Besides, how proper is a tea that serves Kool-Aid?! Anyways, like I said, I had other things to focus on (I had locked my keys in Dad's new -- running-- car) so I didn't think about it.
A couple of hours later I had to attend my siblings' Spring Concert. I was totally unexcited about it; I was tired and wanted to go to bed. Instead, I was stuck watching a bunch of terrified little kids try to remember the words to their songs, some of which I had to sing when I was in kindergarten! One of my good friends was sitting by me and, yes, we were chatting a bit. He just broke up with his girlfriend, so we were discussing that and how unenthusiastic my sisters looked as they sang. We weren't being disruptive or obnoxious; we didn't even talk much during the performances. Trust me, there was plenty of time for good conversation during the transitions from one group to the next.
Apparently, however, watching kids file on and off the stage is a vitally important part of the concert. One teacher in particular (not the one from Senior Tea), was irate. She rushed over to "shush" us, then returned to her conversation with another teacher. I was annoyed but again figured I'd let it go. It wasn't a big deal; no one was hurt.
I drove home and went to bed. When I woke up this morning, I was dead tired. I drug myself out of bed and threw on some clothes. My mind finally started working on the way to school. I was jamming out to a mix CD I made forever ago (one of the rare CDs I still listen to) and in a great mood. . . until I stepped inside the door. From halfway down the hall, I heard the self-appointed "concert monitor" lecturing an unseen person about how rude my friend and I were. Now, this teacher is not known for her subtlety or understanding. She recommended that any high school kids caught talking during a concert "should be kicked out". Oh no! Does that mean I can't take a day off from college to watch the concert next year?! Darn! I'm so disappointed. . . or something.
My partner in crime confessed that he had been lectured about our "misconduct" by the kids' music teacher, herself. We ruined "her" concert. Now, last I checked this was the kids' concert, not the teacher's. When we put on a play, our Theatre teacher never refers to it as "my" play; it's always "your" play. That's the way it should be. Yes, she organized everything (and, to be fair, she did a good job), but the kids were the ones who performed. Did she think our lack of attention was a personal attack? Pretty sure we would have chatted regardless of who was putting on the concert or how wonderful it was. And as for personal attacks, both of these women had better keep a distance. There is no law about verbally crushing teachers.
Besides, who is being the rude one in this case? Yes, I should have dressed up for Senior Tea and no, I should not have been talking during the concert; I know that. But aren't the "adults" in this situation being a little petty? If they have a problem, why not take it up with me? Okay, I would probably lose it now because they've already complained to everyone else. But if they had only calmly and politely taken me (and my friend) aside and kindly requested we be quiet (or dress up in the future), there wouldn't be a problem today. Instead, I am left feeling like a naughty 2-year-old who isn't even worth talking to. Where is the incentive to behave?
I have a theory that the only thing more rude than being rude is pointing out someone else's faults. If either of these ladies had behaved in a matter I felt inappropriate, I would not have made a big deal of it. What ever happened to common courtesy? Maybe I should treat them the way they treat me. Apparently, that's how they like to deal with people.
posted by missdragonfly at 9:50 AM
1 Comments:
Common courtesy is something we can always hope for, but it just doesn't always happen. It's human nature to be upset with someone and some people just don't know how to express it correctly. I am very proud of you for the way you conduct yourself and I hope you will continue to be the respectful person you were during that episode. It makes you the better person for it.
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