What's A Girl To Do?

So I've gotten past the 'I don't need a man to be happy' stage of singleness and passed into the 'I miss having someone' stage. Now, this wouldn't be so bad if I didn't already have the guy picked out. And if he didn't already have a girlfriend. And if I wasn't seriously considering stealing him from her. And if he wasn't so. . . willing!

I've never wanted to be the girl who takes other girls' boyfriends. It just seems so slutty and, dare I say, bitchy. I mean, honestly, it's incredibly cruel to ruin a perfectly happy relationship for the simple reason that she has what I want. If it was that simple, though, I wouldn't even dream of it. Unfortunately, however, it's not (what is, really?). There are serious complications -- or confusions, to be more precise.

He told me himself that he was considering breaking up with her around the time I broke up with my fiancee. He said he was putting it off because he didn't know how she'd take it. This conversation, and the following one, both took place before I decided I liked him. I knew his girlfriend didn't like me much but wasn't overly concerned until someone else mentioned to me that she (the girlfriend) was afraid of me stealing him. Suddenly, it seemed like a great idea. I just brushed it off, though, until his best friend told me one night that I should hook up with "G" (for "Gorgeous"). Apparently the said friend hates the girlfriend (now referred to as "R")because she won't let "G" be with his friends anymore. Since I get along with "G"'s friends -- or at least this one --, the logic went, I should go out with him. The fact that he doesn't even really like "R" was pointed out.

The craziest part of all this is that I told him I was trying to steal him before I actually was. . . and he said to go for it!!!! Whenever I see him he flirts with me and, of course, I can't help but flirt back. . . who wouldn't?!

Two of my best friends are good friends with "R", though, seriously complicating matters. I know what it's like to be in those awkward friendship positions and don't want to do that to them. One suggested that I just kind of wait for him to dump her and then, sha-zam! be there. I guess that's about the best, most logical, idea. This whole thing is so ridiculous, though. . . honestly, why can't these things ever go the way they're supposed to?!?! I guess I can't ask for too much, though. . . and if the choice is agonizing over someone I'll never have (Johnny Depp, *ahem*) and someone I could have ("G), the winner is pretty obvious. Pirates of the Carribean, anyone?